Indian Fat Marriages

There are times in life when our perspective and understanding are increased. Let me share you a small moment which changed the way how I understood the things.

3 Months ago I attended my friend’s wedding in Pune. He was one of my best college buddies and I wanted to congratulate him on his beautiful moment.  I arrived Pune in afternoon and soon reached the marriage venue. The venue was beautifully decorated and was just perfect. Within few seconds, I saw my friend who was looking dashing in his attire. Just beside him was his to be wife. She was looking gorgeous. I went ahead and congratulated both for their new life which they were about to begin.

I was totally mesmerized with the decoration of flowers, the sparkling lights and the excellent arrangements of marriage. I met my classmate Devesh during the marriage. It was good to meet college folks after a long time. We proceeded towards food counter. Adding more there were about 10 food counters. We were not even sure where, to begin with.

The food was a mixture of all major cuisines like Rajasthani, Gujarati, Chinese and Hyderabadi. In all, there were 50+ things to try on. We took a plate and started hovering over food counters. After just 5 counters, our plates were full. And as we completed the food in our plate, 10^th counter, out plates were over flooded with food.

Wedding ceremony started at night and ended on a good note. All the rituals were finished by midnight and we left for the hotel room.

Back there at the room, relatives and other known people were discussing ifs and buts of marriage. How much dowry came and who spent how much. In all, Wedding has provided a lot of time pass and was a gossip material for at least a month. Anyhow I was not interested in gossip and I straight went to sleep.

Next morning I bid bye to my friend and wished him a great marriage life ahead and left for Hyderabad.
Good afternoon, Ladies and gentlemen that were the short glimpse of my experience at my friend's marriage. 

At Hyderabad, I was sitting idle in my house and some thoughts were coming to my mind. I remembered the glamor and the high profile marriage of my friend which I witnessed just 2 days ago. I was looking for some justification for the money spent on the marriage. I was thinking would not it be wonderful, if they could have given some money to poor people. After dwelling deep I discovered some points which helped me to come to a justification. On some moral values, I was looking for some conclusion. Is it justified to spend so much on marriage when people still point out odds rather than giving their blessings and forgetting the rest?

Are lavish weddings or over spending is supposed to be the only means to share the happiness of newly married couple?

I know what was going in my mind, must be going in yours too.

Just to give you cue -
Living in cozy homes, when there are countless people spending nights on the street?

Overeating, when there are children who do get not any bread to eat?

Dancing in joy, when there are people enduring life without feet?

Every single day, we make choices, enjoy privileges, and are given opportunities that most people cannot even dream about. Does that make us sinners? On some moral scales, maybe. On some others, maybe not. But there is no absolute scale.

No one will tell you what is morally 'high' or 'low'. Because really, at the end of the day, moral codes are a deeply personal thing and hence hard to define. You may not even realize, but somewhere inside you, there’s a conscience which always guides us and punishes us when we go against it.

The conscience is special, for it has been created by you, for you, and within you, through all the years of your life, without you even realizing. While it largely governs your actions, it is still learning and developing its intelligence by the day. But sometimes, when there is a conflict between its existing rules and new observations, it gives birth to conflicts such as this—are lavish weddings morally justified?

 This is when you must realize, your conscience still doesn't know any better than its creator—you. You think you are asking it for an answer, but in reality, the conscience is asking you for an answer. It is confusing.

Now, you must answer the question, on some parameters. What parameters? You decide.

Do you want a lavish wedding? --

If not you, who wants a lavish wedding? --

What good or bad does having a lavish wedding do for you? -- 

And finally, if you are not going to have a lavish wedding because it isn't 'morally justified', are you going to do something with the saved resources that will be 'morally justified' by the exact same standards?

One must decide for himself. As a premise, most of the times, morality is a not appropriate to justify anything. I would say do the wedding as per your own terms. Do not let society belief to influence your beliefs. And if you will get influenced, you will be disobeying your moral values. Your moral values are to give you a direction and a sense whatever you do in your life. Don’t be a football of other people option.

Nobody gains anything from scrapping lavish weddings. Although, by not scrapping them does support an entire industry, and thus, many households. There are ways aplenty for anybody wanting to help the needy, and while little sacrifices may come somewhere at the bottom of the list, your meaningful contributions can come first.

It is your call now, you decide on your on terms.

References
http://homegrown.co.in/no-more-big-fat-indian-weddings-a-new-trend-is-emerging-in-villages/
https://www.quora.com/Are-lavish-weddings-in-India-morally-justified
http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/26150/a-grand-wedding-or-a-happy-marriage-whats-more-important/